Jurassic World Rebirth Review: Plot, Cast, Box Office & Critical Reception

Jurassic World Rebirth is the seventh movie in the franchise. Seventh. That means Hollywood has milked this dinosaur cow until the udders fell off. Yet, people still showed up. It made almost $857 million worldwide, which proves one thing: we’ll pay to watch dinosaurs eat humans no matter how dumb the plot is!

To be honest, I don’t blame us! Reality sucks, dinosaurs are better!

The movie came out July 2, 2025, runs for 134 minutes, and yes, it’s PG-13 because apparently watching people get chewed alive is family-friendly if there’s no swearing!

The Team Behind the Monster

David Koepp is back writing. He worked on the original Jurassic Park, the one that was actually good. Gareth Edwards directs, which makes sense since he likes big CGI monsters (Godzilla, Rogue One).

The cast is stacked: Scarlett Johansson plays Zora Bennett, a mercenary with trauma (Hollywood’s favorite personality trait). Jonathan Bailey is the nerdy paleontologist. Mahershala Ali is the boat guy. Rupert Friend is the corporate slimeball.

The Plot: Because Corporate Greed Never Gets Old

The story? Scarlett’s mercenary is hired by a sleazy pharma dude to steal dino DNA. Why? To cure heart disease. How? Because dinosaurs apparently have oversized, miracle hearts. Totally believable—if you’ve had a lobotomy.

The dinosaurs live on "misfit islands", basically Jurassic rejects: too ugly for the parks, too mean for research. The team needs DNA from sea, land, and air dinos, which screams video-game side quest. Meanwhile, the random Delgado family gets attacked on a cruise ship and joins the main group. Spoiler: everyone runs, screams, and gets eaten in creative ways...

The climax throws survivors into a three-way escape—air, land, sea. Imagine Mario Kart with raptors. Message of the film? Dinosaurs = innocent. Humans = dumb, greedy trash. Tbh, hard to argue!

The Dumbest Details

The first action scene starts with a Snickers wrapper. I wish I was kidding! Jonathan Bailey’s character won’t shut up about Altoids, which is a genius move when trying not to get eaten, crunch loudly near predators.

Also, everyone keeps talking on the island. Like, nonstop. Who the hell keeps chatting while being hunted by carnivores? Oh right, Hollywood screenwriters.

Worst moment? A dying brontosaurus blocks traffic and no one cares. A gentle giant suffering, and humanity just shrugs.

Reception: Critics vs. Popcorn Zombies

Critics hated it. Rotten Tomatoes: 51%. Basically, "meh". Audiences though? 71% on the Popcorn meter. Translation: People love watching dinos chomp morons, no matter how dumb the dialogue. It beat Thor: Ragnarok at the box office by a few hundred thousand bucks, which is hilarious because Ragnarok is actually fun.

Still, compared to older Jurassic World movies making over a billion, this one barely limped in. The roar is fading! 🦖

The Future: Maybe, Maybe Not

A sequel will probably happen, because money. But Jonathan Bailey says he’s taking a break to focus on charity and Bridgerton. Respect to him, but if your nerdy paleontologist is out, that slows things down. Maybe that’s good. Marvel burned itself out by cranking content nonstop. Dinosaurs deserve better than becoming the next superhero fatigue.

Where I Stand

This movie is proof Hollywood knows we’ll eat reheated leftovers if they sprinkle some CGI teeth on top. It’s loud, dumb, and somehow still entertaining. Critics call it garbage. Audiences shovel popcorn and ask for seconds.

Me? I laughed, rolled my eyes, and still had fun. But if they don’t come up with something fresh, Jurassic World might go extinct for real!